Remember these…

When you finally think it thru, remember someone considered thoroughly for a long time too.

When you finally decided, time may had passed and someone had moved on.

When you finally think its time, someone had gave up waiting.

When you finally discovered the place reserved for you had been replaced, remember you were given many chances.

When you are finally ready to be honest, remember you had been read like an open book.

Sometimes is just too late. Opportunities dont come as often as you think. I know i made the right decision.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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後來的。。。

我後來放棄了。。。

可能因為累了。。。

可能沒有為什麼。。。

可能夠了。。。

可能都不重要了,因為就放棄了。。

後來誰錯誰對都不重要了。。。

Weird Chronicles

I have been trying to figure out, how I’ve been having the same nightmare since a child and from time to time like a drama, there will be the next episode. I was so near to uncovering the truth today but woke up in fright and could not remember “the reason”.

Here’s the story.

In the 30s to 40s of Shanghai, a man dressed like a rich man pressed another man down on the table near the window. It looks like an office as there are many work desks and documents. I was pretty sure this is the loft of the building.

Me? I stumbled about the incident and was too scared to move and am behind the walls of the entrance.

Recently, I had an updated version, continued from where I always woke up in sweat.

Present in a dinner where everyone was bading goodbye. It was a feast thrown by my Dad but I never get to see this “Dad” in the dream.

As I was walking on the streets, people were chiding me for helping my “Dad”, not standing up for justice.

Then today, I was getting into sleep but I couldn’t remember anything from the dream except a river and I could finally know the reason.

However I woke up in fright again and I swore the bedroom door closed a bit by itself and I heard like someone knocking onto the door but of course I could see no one.

I’m very curious about this nightmare that had been haunting me since I was a child but not sure who and where to ask. It would be great if anyone could tell me.

I read in an article that we carry some of our ancestors’ memory in our DNA. If that is true… then oh no!!!!

The Best I Could Do

 

It takes a lot of courage to wish someone the best sincerely no matter how you are breaking inside.

The strength summoned to pretend you are all right while you lift up your right hand to wave goodbye. Maybe we won’t say goodbye because it is so difficult to at this point of time. So weird, goodbye had always been a form of telling someone, we will see again, how did it became so reluctant to come out of our mouth now.

Nobody explained what was misunderstood or perhaps not communicated clearly. It didn’t matter anymore. The results sealed the fate of what will be thrown into a box, tucked away in a corner and never to be uncovered.

We tried to slow down the pace, not hurrying back home this time because we all knew it could be the last time. Looking around, maybe for an interesting place – looking for a reason. A reason to buy time while the penny buy a coffee or sweet.

There was nowhere suitable, nothing interesting for we had went to almost every of the outlet together before. Nothing very special at this moment.

Were we trying to reach out to each other but pride told us to be cool about it. That’s how the movies plays it. We heard from our friends that it is not normal to be melodramatic about it so our arms withdrew.

The train came so quickly, provided me with another excuse not to bade goodbye. We act like we will see again, maybe when all the hurt had subsided, maybe when time allows us to forget how we loved each other.

Maybe the time was not right. Maybe it was not the right person.

Maybe the next one to come by will be, maybe……

So we keep believing in maybe as we do people watching in the train.

The people must had kept us busy for a while until we got down the train. The sky is dark, everyone is with their loved ones. We are walking on the streets. The rain should come down now.

Sorting out the photos seems like a chore for everyone who fell out of love. We must hesitate if we should keep them then finally put them all in the rubbish bin after we stored the moments in us, not sure the heart or the brain.

Maybe we teared a bit while reminiscing.

This is the best I can do, to wish the people who are leaving the best. Hoping they would be happier than staying here beside me. Maybe they finally found the right one at the right time. It was so perfect for them to stay here anymore and is time to find the perfect moment to bade goodbye.

 

 

 

“I do”

Today we were hired to do a proposal video at this very secluded restaurant. We had done a pre proposal video prior to today. It will be on air on youtube.com/35mm soon, maybe next week.

I am more than happy to do this as this is a joyous occasion.

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Is it every girl’s dream to have a grand proposal? Maybe they feel being treasured by doing so. Agnes is not the bride, but if you had watched our youtube, you would know, she’s one of our mutton.

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The best thing that I enjoyed most was the collective effort from everyone.

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There must be yummy food on a joyous occasion. The food was nice but I was enticed by the dessert.

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Last but not least, I am touched by their friendship. They were all filming under the scorching sun for free!!! With their bikes, although with no training prior to the filming, they strive to be like those professionals. What is life without true friends. Friends that feel happy for you when you are happy, lend you their shoulder when you are sad. Always here whenever you need them.

Some years down the road, everyone’s gonna look at this picture again. Thanks Lord for sending someone who discover photography; a visual lens that capture your instant moments into eternity. IMG_4397

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Let’s end this with the photo of the female lead. Everyone might have their own perspectives about being a blessed woman, but this gal here must had saved the country in her previous life, to get so much love from everyone around her. I wish her happiness and may the smile on her face never disappear.

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My Reply

a word

A word for a word,

An eye for an eye.

If silence cannot protect me,

I decided it is better to scream out loud.

In the process of staging a retaliation,

my resilience grew.

As I hold myself in a piece,

my mind became peaceful,

my heart grew bigger.

Silence is the most powerful weapon,

when combined with time,

it can suffocate your predators without a finger lift.

Let time speaks the truth.

Out beyond ideas of wrong doings and right doings,

there is a field, I’ll see you there.

I sign this off with a sigh. ….